Using the GL evolution as an experiment

As a non-GL viewer, my reaction to GL's apparent passing is not emotional, but intellectual. I do view the loss of the oldest soap, one of the last Irna Phillips soaps, the only soap to make it from radio to the present, as a major symbolic loss for the genre. GL bordered on "sacred cow", so when we're ready to kill that one...

In this post, though, I want to focus on a more optimistic future, and some personal "brainstorming" I have been doing to think about what a next-generation GL might look like.

The rumors are that GL is looking for a new home. DaytimeConfidential suggests that the most serious talks are with the Lifetime Network.

Since Lifetime is "Television for Women", I don't watch that a lot...it seems to be the new home of women-in-peril movies (what we used to call "Movies of the Week" or "Sunday Night Movies"). In principle, such an emotional, women-oriented platform seems ideal for soaps.

But there is also a fundamental difference. The two-hour movie is self-contained. You get your emotional fix and then you move on, never again to revisit those characters. That is the antithesis of a soap.

So, how to graft the two together? My feeling is that the secret is to move in the direction of a telenovela...a self-contained story that is fixed in time. (I know this has been tried and failed...OLTL was reviled when Michael Malone played with short arcs, and Port Charles is no longer around -- a testament to the failure of that experiment. Indeed, some attribute GL's most recent fall to its lack of melodramatic and serial elements during the first year of the new production model).

So, what if Springfield/GL is used as the fictional universe (with all the history back there, but maybe not front and center), and a series of 13-week 30- or 60-minute ensemble dramas (set to play once a week...not daily) were set there?

For example, using the current buzzworthy tale, what if for 13 weeks Lifetime presented: "Otalia" (with, in smaller letters, at the bottom of the screen, "A Guiding Light/Springfield story").

Now, let's pretend that for the first 13-weeks, the "A" story of "Otalia" is about these two women becoming open and committed lovers (say the last episode of GL = Otalia getting married, so the new series picks up on their married life). As an ensemble show, there could be "B" and "C" stories anchored in Otalia (their co-workers, relatives, friends), but distinct. Some of those "B" and "C" stories could come from the rest of the GL universe--AS LONG AS THEY WERE THEMATICALLY TIED IN (e.g., Doris tries, finally, to open her heart to love while her daughter has a hard time coping; Frank tries to move on in the world, looking for a woman who can finally appreciate him for what he is).

At the end of the 13-week arc, Otalia would rest. Maybe it would come back "next season" (next year), or maybe not. That would depend on fan response.

Meanwhile, after the 13-week arc is over, another 13-week novel would begin. For example (don't roll your eyes...I'm trying to play to a Lifetime audience here): "Healing Hearts: The Story of Dinah and Shane". Again, at the bottom of the screen, it would be signalled as "A Guiding Light/Springfield Story".

As that couple plays out its 13-week drama, again supported by related "B" and "C" stories (I really think these shows have to be tighter and more contained...new viewers MUST be able to sample without getting lost), there could be weeks with "Special Guest Star Kim Zimmer" or "Special Guest Star Maeve Kinkead" (spelling fixed per comment below). At that could be the link to classic GL.

Soap opera towns and universes are fictional places that we love to return to over and over again. In the new financials and the evolving universe, where the patience and time for a daily experience may not longer exist, and where the "burden" of decades of history may actually serve as a turnoff for viewers, can GL pioneer (as it has before) the evolution of the form? Can Springfield and the 70 years of history that went before serve as the "franchise" in which self-contained short arc stories...featuring people we know and people we don't know...keep the town alive?

Maybe returning to Springfield and Guiding Light in a different way would be the method of achieving this "place to come home to" while building something that requires a little less commitment?

I note that the GH:Night Shift experiment did something very much like this. If anything, it was too tied to the "mothership", using too many characters from the daytime show (enough that discontinuities between the two series annoyed some fans). Night Shift I was a ratings success for Soapnet (but not a critical one). Night Shift II was a critical success but ratings failure. I know that a version of this experiment (ATWT's Eileen Fulton spinoff, Our Private World, penned in part by Bill Bell) did not succeed in the 1960s...but that was not so fully situated in the Oakdale universe. It was a true spinoff, and those are always risky.

Maybe Lifetime (or whomever is lucky enough to participate in the evolution of the GL franchise) can find a way to tell new stories rooted in Springfield. If lightning strikes, this new GL might satisfy both the commercial needs of the network, and storytelling needs of hungry fans, all of whom believe there is still life in the "old girl".

For all of them, I wish that the genre trailblazer continues to push soaps forward into the new media landscape.

A little Nuke and the world explodes

Well, I realize this is a post that is happening a week after Luke and Noah had sex on ATWT. In my defense, I have been away at a family funeral. In addition, though, I really wanted to let the event gestate a bit. There has been so much written about it (hence the explosion of the title), and so much of it was contrary to what I thought I saw, I needed to let it all percolate. If you missed it, here is what I'm talking about:

In the end, my thoughts about the event are positive, and in line with Nelson Branco's quote from Sri Rao (writer of Night Shift 2): “Good for them. One small step for Nuke, one giant leap for daytime...”

Rao should know. He accomplished, with Night Shift 2, what daytime had failed to do: tender conversations between two men who really got to know each other, were confident in their sexuality (for the most part), and for whom a kiss was not a huge deal, but just beautifully tender and arousing to almost anyone who saw it. If you missed it, I mean this.

For me, Nuke sex was beautiful because (a) of the passion we got see leading up to it, (b) because NO LONGER can it be denied that Luke (scion of a core family) is a sexual being who -- yup -- has actually seen his love naked and actually related to him in a sexual way. (Make no mistake about it...there was contingent out there that thought Luke's celibacy was an 'appropriate' response to his 'wrong' attractions), and (c) because it is almost like the "last wall" has fallen (More on that below).

Most importantly, we're past it now. If Nuke ever has sex again, it won't be such a big deal (nor should it be). The big obstacle has been jumped. And for those who don't like Nuke, well, now the way has been paved for a couple you might like more. Never again will a gay male couple have to go through all this nonsense to merely kiss on daytime. That is a victory.

To be clear, All My Children accomplished the same thing for lesbian sexuality years ago, with Bianca. To see the remarkable intimacy of Reese and Bianca now, it is easy to forget how difficult it was for Bianca to be given on-screen kisses with Lena or Maggie years ago. But, those "outrages" perpetrated, Reese and Bianca are now free to be more openly loving.

The gay male sexuality was an extra hurdle. Make no mistake about it, when Brian Frons says "our lesbians are cuter", he is reflecting the fact that woman-on-woman sex is simply not as taboo anymore. Of course, this plays into the whole straight-male-porn-fantasy. Straight women never seemed to have a parallel enjoyment of gay porn in the mainstream, even though Carrie Bradshaw and the Sex and the City girls seemed to like it.

Indeed, Michael Moore suggested, tongue-in-cheek, in Mike's Election Guide 2008 that if the gay marriage amendments had been about lesbians, they would have readily passed. Showing a picture of two brides-in-veils with interlinked tongues, Moore wrote (pp. 35-36)

I am told that no one is opposed to watching two women kiss. Men love it, women love it, and the women doing it love it -- something for everybody! I don't think it is female-on-female love that has so many people (men) discombobulated. I think when they say they are against gay marriage, what they really mean is that they are against this:

(picture of two men kissing)

Now that is disgusting! Guys going all borkeback on each other--gimme a break! The state can't sanction that!

So, as a sociopolitical act of activism, I honestly believe Nuke is so, so important! Not because it is the first mainstream depiction of gay male sexuality, but maybe because it is the last important one! Let me expand on this by addressing some of the many critiques I have read about the story these last weeks.

This was not a "first". Indeed the whole story shows how locked in a conservative past soaps are.

The core premise, for me, is what Kay Alden meant when she said "Soaps are not an avante garde medium". (She said this at Sam Ford's MIT symposium, in relation to his Masters defense).

Another way I viewed the Nuke sex, specifically, was as "My heavens! There are boinking on homo-sect-choo-als on Aunt Mildred's STORIES!!! On ATWT!!! On one of the two oldest daytime shows! On a show that debuted in the Eisenhower era! On a show with a median viewer age in excess of 60 years! "

Much of the negative commentary about the "innovativeness" of this relates to the fact that Dynasty and Melrose Place and Brothers and Sisters and Hollyoaks and what have you all did it before.

True, that! And AMC has to continue to get credit for really having a core gay character first. (The history is longer, as you can see here).

So, why am I celebrating so much?

ATWT's gay male sex is not necessary the FIRST shoe to drop. Instead, I think Nuke may be interesting because it is the LAST shoe to drop. If we take the conservative, staid, stuck-in-the-past, pander-to-the-mainstream, do-not-inflame soap genre (I don't actually think it is all like that), and THEY have homo-sect-choo-als kissing and more...it is a true marker of culture change.

But in the end, my connection to this tale is more emotional, and it all goes back, again, to the fact that these are Aunt Mildred's STORIES! And now, with the wavy-whisps of an old-school flashback, I'm drawn back into the past... I am sorry this is a ramble, but it shows you that I'm not responding intellectually to this tale....

... what a difference might it have made to young men 30 years ago, if Nuke had been around then. Back in the day when soaps were more truly intergenerational? To show that gay men were decent, loving, respectworthy members of core families. That their mothers and grandmothers and neighbors still loved them, even though they were attracted to the 'wrong' sex. How many doors of healthy conversation and attitude change might it have opened?

[For those who do not believe that the generational experience of coming out is a whole different thing, compare Saul and Kevin on Brothers and Sisters. That is a totally authentic representation of how things have changed.]

Young gay men probably look at Nuke and say "come on! No big deal! We've been here and queer forever! The timidity and forcedness of the Nuke story is so in contrast with our lives".

Maybe.

But man oh man oh man has the world changed!

Someone from my genereation looks at Luke Snyder in AWE! The world has CHANGED! Imagine if, 37 years ago, Phil Brent had been a young gay man on AMC, and the triangle involving Chuck and Tara had been because Phil wanted Chuck! What a different world that would have been!

Even as the world moved along, soaps just DIDN'T. Not in major or significant ways (although that link above shows that some brave souls TRIED).

Now, finally, the "soap train" has arrived at the station. That is a big deal. (The "station", by the way, is the acceptance of gay male sexuality...as I posted earlier...for women it has been futher along).

When I look back on my nearly 44 years (damn, I feel old on this board), I simply cannot tell you how stunning Nuke is. It is truly akin (I know you'll accuse me of aggrandizing) how I imagine some African Americans felt when Obama became president. The world has changed!

All the feelings of things you could never achieve when you were younger...well that ceiling suddenly opens up...and you almost get a feeling of vertigo....imagine if the world had always been thus! How different might life have been?

Thirty years ago, there was NO ROLE MODEL, certainly not on soaps. Think about what Luke IS! He's the white-bread scion of a countrified-citified Oakdale...middle America...no crazy hair or dress or lifestyle. And average fella, he probably shops at malls instead of Soho thrift shops, not "loud and proud"...just a typical guy. (Yes, I know he is a Grimaldi...but I am ignoring that). To SEE THAT EVERY DAY!! EVERY DAY!!! Wow!

That changes the world! At least mine!

From the perspective of "jaded youth" that is well past all of this, I can see how Nuke is nothing special. From the perspective of someone who NEVER THOUGHT this day would come EVER....it is very special indeed.

For me, this is as fundamental as Uhura-Kirk. That interracial kiss was subversive, IMO, not because it was 'first', but because it infiltrated the white-male bastion of SciFi. If you were going to show that kind of 'miscegnation' to THAT audience....well...you had pushed the audience very far. ATWT is a very similar bastion....with a mainstream audience of older, homebound women....mothers of sons who live in environments where it still may not be acceptable to be gay. (You know...Prop 8 voters). Now, every day, even here, they cannot deny the existence of this reality. Maybe, if they don't tune out, they'll see that Luke and Noah are decent and regular. Not perverts or pedophiles or sluts. Just striped-shirt wearing doofuses who go to college. Maybe they will recognize their sons...and judge less harshly, having had their attitudes adjusted, if they sons turn out to be gay too. For all of you who are 'way past' a society that does not accept gay male sexuality, I'm here to remind you that the MAJORITY of people in many areas are NOT 'way past' the issue. ATWT and its ilk can be fundamental tools in the cultural evolution. (That is also why it is important to not yet p*ss those people off and show them sweaty thrusting in a bed. Get them ready in baby steps. That day will come...)

The story was lousy. Nuke was a terrible insta-couple.

This critique points to the origins of the story where, it seems, Luke's unreciprocated attraction to Noah was a little rushed. The basis for the mutual attraction was never firmly established, so -- other than the fact that these are two gay men -- we don't really know why they are together at this point.

I think this is a broader critique of ATWT's writing, and so it is not specific to Nuke. Also, at this point, I really don't think it is fair to call them an "insta-couple". After over two years? INSTACOUPLE?? That just is no longer true. The FOUNDATIONS of the union may be shaky...and I'm not saying this is terrific writing. But honestly, they've earned the right with enough shared history to be more than an insta-couple.

The whole thing was rushed, shoehorned into a single episode. It was almost like "let's get this over with".

The point is that a gay man, who is a member of a core family, whom the audience has been allowed -- more or less -- to see grow up has also been allowed to become a fully embodied sexual being on his show. And that is major. Within the context of this single episode, it was also a good soapy setup -- from the fight in Midtown to the feverish kissing and locking of doors, to the post-coital tenderness. Since ATWT is trying to get us to view the show in a more "episodic" way, this was a good episode vis-a-vis Nuke.

Sex on this particular day made little sense

This is Tom Casiello's point. This love scene didn't get the build-up of some "losing virginity" stories on other shows. Given how long this couple has been denying themselves, why on this random January Monday?

I don't know. I can't defend that choice in particular. But in the real world, people have sex. They don't schedule it for particular days or plan it or announce it with weeks of foreshadowing. They just "throw down". Nuke could no longer deny it.

I actually think it was a beautiful breakthrough for the precipitant of Noah's passion to be Luke's admonition that "You're selfish with your feelings". Finally, finally, Noah had an epiphany. And the forceful way that he kissed Luke was both hot and completely appropriate for the heated conversation that preceded it. So, for me, watching this episode (I confess!) in isolation...it made perfect sense. It seemed like a classic moment of anger-dissolving-into-passion. Indeed, the utter "prototypicality" of that kiss made me happy...Nuke was getting treated like just about every other soap couple. That's all we can ask for.

The scene should have been comparable to what we see with het couples, otherwise gay men are on the "back of the bus"

This "back of the bus" comment showed up on both Usenet, and in a comment to Tom Casiello's piece on this topic.

So, the activist in me says...sure...sweaty naked men kissing all over each other in bed MIGHT WELL have been the more appropriate soap template to use. Except Luke and Noah are young, and soaps typically use a more chaste approach for young sex.

Second, can we remind ourselves of the national realities here? Gay marriage amendments were turned down by the MAJORITY of voters in three states in November 2008. For us to ignore the context in which this story plays out is ... naive. I suspect there is a lot of overlap, for example, between the population that voted against gay marriage and the population that watches P&G soaps.

In addition, P&G/CBS received vociferous protest against Nuke kissing (thank you, Rev. Wildmon)! A scant year ago, there was even a visible kissing ban! P&G/Televest/Telenext/whatever was sufficiently scared that they ran a PHONE POLL to help them decide whether to continue the Nuke tale!

In light of the extreme caution that has been taken so far, why would we now want to engage in a sudden act of sensory 'flooding' and show hot sweaty sex? Baby steps is the key....

I may have a different opinion here. I believe that a softer, more "lamb-like" approach is the right one to take here, given that the majority of Americans is still not comfortable with gay male sexuality.

Let's face it. If I want to watch sex -- gay or straight -- I can find lots of porn on this here old internet.

So, soap sex is ... well ... usually hokey. At its WORST, it is arched backs and sweaty brows and treacly music.

I'm not saying, sometimes, that can't be remarkable to see, but for the most part, I'll pass.

Most of soap sex is off screen. Every married couple on soaps gets to have their sex off screen. And that's fine. I really don't need to to see ATWT's Tom and Margo grunting away fortnightly, or however often they do it .

This was Nuke's FIRST sex. It may get "hotter" as time passes. For me, what is important is that the threshold has been crossed.

Now, EVERY TIME we see those men on screen, America will know that they have seen each other naked, in a lustful way. That new reality suffuses every scene. That is DIFFERENT. That is ground breaking. That is what Monday opened. Two men who are explicitly sexual with each other, on the front burner. Now, when they touch, we will know it is a "knowing" touch...and like Tom and Margo or -- heck -- most days Brad and Katie -- we know they'll follow up on the "touch" later. No longer is this denied.

Once the conservatives catch their breath and stop their puking (men having SEX! how AWFUL!), the next sex scene (whenever it happens) could well be shirtless in bed together kissing. Who knows? Who cares? Again, if we want to see two men in flagrante delicto....well...there are other sites for that.

This is commercial TV! It plays to all kinds of sensibilities. How often are African American characters (the few who exist) given those arched-back scenes? How often are characters over 40 given those scenes? There are all kinds of racist, sexist, ageist and homophobic sensibilities that are being 'considered' as these soaps get put out...that's the reality of an advertiser-supported medium that needs to appeal to the "minivan majority" (ugh).

The fact remains....we KNOW, and we cannot deny, that two men now exist in Oakdale who related to one another fully as loving and sexual beings. That is ENORMOUS. I cannot believe people aren't just jaw-droppingly astounded at how ENORMOUS this is.

There should have been advance publicity

When she was still at SOD/SOW, Carolyn Hinsey expressed this point regarding Nuke's first kiss. Recently, I have seen this opinion expressed -- say -- via the Marlena Delacroix site.

I could not disagree more. I think this publicity is working EXACTLY as it should. Why?

First, again, let us not deny the hordes of protesters. Let us not forget the early 90s, when Thirtysomething lost all advertisers for an episode because two gay men were simply shown in bed together. Why give them an advance warning to get organized?

Second, let us not forget that the method-of-the-day is viral. I defy you, in the modern era, to show me many examples of where advance publicity has had ANY effect on ratings! Genie Francis' returns to General Hospital have been promoted...and there was scarcely a ratings blip. The sole exception to the "benefits of publicity" that I can recall was during the "Sudden Impact" arc on Young and Restless (8/6/2008). There, clever banner ads and some out-of-daypart-and-off-network TV ads did convince lapsed viewers to come back to see the newly re-energized Y&R.

But, for the most part, publicity is irrelevant now.

Instead, Roger Newcomb reports that over 300,000 have watched the Nuke sex on Youtube alone. Who knows how many more people saw it on Fancast or CBS.com, etc.

Those who proclaim the need for publicity are LOCKED IN AN OLD WORLD, where the only way to watch a soap was on TV. "Set your VCR" is an outdated phraseology, even if you substitute the word "DVR". If you miss a show, you can catch it (legally) online, and the network gets to count both the "hit" and the advertising revenue!

Indeed, the lack of advance publicity is BRILLIANT. It teaches viewers they HAVE TO WATCH, or they'll miss it. That avoids a one-day ratings spike (useless), and might encourage return viewership.

Viral, viral, viral, viral.

Whenever you want to complain about a lack of publicity, just remember these phrases: "TV is dead" and "Viral is in". ATWT is playing well to the modern world!

And for those who feel the lack of publicity was "defensive", as in "The network was chicken, and afraid to stir up protest"...well....when everyone is out to get you it is OKAY to be defensive. When you're going to stir up a hornet's nest, it is okay to wear protective gear! That's not cowardly...that's smart!

Sharing ice cream with grandma, post-coitally, was icky and diminished the moment

Yeah, Lucinda coming in the house was a bit icky...but remember that Nuke had sex in a house that they share with half of Oakdale. In that context, given the fracture that occurred between Luke and Lucinda over Brian's hidden sexuality, it was a moment of rapprochement that actually felt very good in light of the preceding tension between them.

MOREOVER, think how radical the scene was!!! Luke and Noah had just exchanged bodily fluids!! They had actively had sex. Even if Lucinda didn't know it, these now fully-embodied sexual young men were sitting next to her, in a moment of healing, eating ice cream. In other words, Luke and Noah's sexuality didn't distinguish them or ostracize them. They could simply co-exist, do normal things, have nice family scenes. Yes, a little post-coital languishing might have been nice...but the normalization and routineness of the Oakdale scene was nice, too.

It reinforced that gay male sexuality did not lead to the end of the World. Indeed, it kept on turning like always. What a terrific message!

Will ATWT Brian's potential be realized?

I was excited to learn about the Brian story on ATWT. First, as Roger Newcomb has said, it is the kind of dysfunctional intergenerational mess that is at the core of soaps and ATWT. To have a gay element to that helps to end the marginalization of the show's "gay storyline".

But there are warning signs that this story is not going to be subtle, nuanced, or authentic. It seems Brian is going to be the sleazy guest villain of this quarter, bilking Lucinda while trying to shag Luke...which is already raising groans of disgust from the soap quarters I visit.

From cbs. com, here is the most recent beat of the story:

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Lily and Holden visit Lucinda at the hospital, where Lucinda and Brian have just confirmed that they’ll be getting married. Lily is alarmed at the news. Brian goes to call the judge and run some wedding errands as Lily has a moment alone with her mother. Lily explains her concern and Lucinda defends her actions. Lily understands that Lucinda doesn’t want to die alone. Lily wants ­Lucinda to be happy. Brian has Lucinda sign a pre-nuptial agreement to show that there are no strings. He gives her his Princeton class ring and they exchange vows. Lily and Holden are moved. Meanwhile, Noah helps Luke sober up. He gives him coffee at Java, then after Luke starts to insult him, Noah takes him home. Luke doesn’t want Noah to leave, but when Noah does, Luke goes after him. Brian, running home after his wedding to Lucinda to get her some clothes for tomorrow, finds Luke on the road, picks him up and brings him home. Luke cleans himself up but is a total wreck emotionally. Brian consoles him, hugs him, and finally kisses Luke. Luke’s out of it at first, then pulls away and staggers upstairs. Brian is overwhelmed.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lily and Holden leave a message for Luke, then go see Lucinda for a wedding breakfast at the hospital. Luke wakes up hung over, flashes to Brian kissing him, and wonders if it really happened. Luke arrives at the hospital to see Brian toasting Lucinda with his parents there. In the corridor, Luke wants to know what the hell Brian’s doing. Brian plays it off, says he comes from an expressive family, and doesn’t want Luke to ruin this for his grandmother. Luke tries to tell Lily that this marriage is a mistake but she too wants Luke to let Lucinda be happy. Later, Brian and Lucinda exchange wedding bands as an upset Luke watches through the window.

Brian's denial and inauthenticity makes some fear that this is going to go in an almost-incest direction, where Brian tries to pluck the cherry from Luke's tender young tree, but then blackmails him (or whatever) into silence. If that is the tale...that's kind of yech.

It seems to me recent real life offers all kinds of really deep, moving possibilities for this story. I hope they have the courage to go in that direction.

1. Ted Haggard (villain storyline, wrapped up in fundamentalism and conservatism...plausible for a "foundation manager" or whatever) Haggard is particularly villainous because (a) he won't own up to his homosexuality, even when caught AND [cue standard fundamentalist narrative] (b) he claims he was "warped" by early sexual abuse that took 40 years to "ripen"

Excerpt:

Earlier this month, a guest took the pulpit at Open Bible Fellowship in Morrison, Ill., a 350-member church surrounded by cornfields. The speaker was an insurance salesman from Colorado named Ted Haggard.

The former superstar pastor, disgraced two years ago in a sex-and- drugs scandal, had returned — this time as a Christian businessman preaching a message that was equal parts contrition and defiance. *Haggard linked his fall to being molested in second grade and apologized again.*

Haggard, 52, resigned as president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals and was fired from New Life Church amid allegations that he *paid a male prostitute for sex and used methamphetamine*.

Haggard said in 2006 he *bought the drugs but never used them*, confessed to *"sexual immorality"* and described struggling with a *"dark and repulsive"* side. He had risen from preaching in his basement to taking part in White House conference calls — and fallen so far that he became a late-night punch line.

He apologized for making his family suffer, acknowledged suicidal thoughts and chastised church leaders for missing an opportunity to use his scandal to "communicate the gospel worldwide." Haggard said he emerged with a *stronger Christian faith and marriage* than he'd ever had.

2. James McGreevey (a little more complex; probably not too much different from Haggard, although he ultimately acknowledged that he had been denying his homosexuality). But no matter what you think of him, READ how he writes about this. He talks about incorporating inauthenticity into his personality, and about that actually helping him in politics. He also talks about how he consistently made choices to deny his identity. Finally, he talks about the compartmentalization that make it all work for him. I'm here to say that is 100% gospel...that is NOT a set of bullsh*t excuses. That is the elaborate fiction such men create...and that is totally what Brian could be. With good writing....

Excerpt:

I’ve never been much for self-revelation. In two decades of public life, I always approached the limelight with extreme caution. Not that I kept my personal life off-limits; rather, the personal life I put on display was a blend of fact and fiction. I invented overlapping narratives about who I was, and contrived backstories that played better not just in the ballot box but in my own mind. And then, to the best of my ability, I tried to be the man in those stories.

In this way I’m not at all unique.* Inauthenticity is endemic in American politics today. *

*Ironically, the dividing experience of my sexuality helped me thrive in that environment*. As I climbed the electoral ladder—from state assemblyman to mayor of Woodbridge and finally to governor of New Jersey—*political compromises came easy to me because I’d learned how to keep a part of myself innocent of them. I kept a steel wall around my moral and sexual instincts*—protecting them, I thought, from the threats of the real world. This gave me a tremendous advantage in politics, if not in my soul. The true me, my spiritual core, slipped further and further from reach.

There were moments when the ripping misery of this life became too great, moments when I thought about “becoming gay” and all that that entails.

My political potential was enormous. *I think I decided that my ambition would give me more pleasure than integration, than true love*. Coming to this realization made me feel not suicidal, exactly, but morose. It’s hard to describe how it feels to surrender your soul to your ambition.

Among other things, I was anxious about marrying Dina. I had met her at a campaign event—she was an uncommonly beautiful 31-year-old blonde in a red double-breasted suit. When the event was over I walked her out to her car and kissed her. *I’m still not sure what made me do it. Loneliness, I suppose. Maybe she just seemed like the perfect politician’s wife; it might have been that self-serving. Our romantic life was troubled from the start, but I loved her deeply as a friend and companion. And I did believe I was offering her some things she truly coveted: the stability of marriage, the prospect of a loving family, a chance to share a life of public service, political excitement in spades*.

3. Aaron. A married gay man, who has been honest with his wife. The thing is...he loves his wife, but he's gay. He wants to stay with his family, parent his child, and remain true to his (deep) faith. He struggles everyday with how to resolve the contradictions.

He calls his life "Paysage choisi", which means "chosen landscape".

Excerpt #1:

The name of this blog ("paysage choisi") comes from a poem by the 19th century French poet Paul Verlaine, which is in a collection called Fêtes galantes inspired by Watteau’s rococo paintings. Verlaine’s words have been set to music more than once, but it is Fauré’s setting that has been going through my head a lot lately. *I find the themes in the poem very close to home: wearing masks, going through the motions, hiding sadness, life’s sad beauty*.

Excerpt #2:

*Coming out of the closet and staying in the house*

I have been inching out of the closet for a long time now. I came out to my wife in a moment of crisis eight years ago, and her loving support and empathy were amazing. I think we both thought at the time that simply removing that secret from between us would strengthen our relationship and everything would be fine.

Although I had already begun the process of shedding the sense of shame I had been carrying so long, the experience of talking freely with the therapist, a gay man himself, was incredibly liberating. At the first session, he asked me where I wanted to go with the therapy — what my goal was — and I realized that I didn’t know.*I explained that I felt fully committed to my marriage and that this was about my inner journey of accepting myself*.

Strangely, though, in parallel with the sense of exhilaration I have felt as I have begun to be freed from the burdens of guilt, shame and self-doubt, I have also felt an increasing sense of isolation and loneliness. *For various reasons, I have been reluctant to find opportunities to meet other gay men. Yet my need to do so is like a lead weight on my chest. This feels like another barrier — another closet door*.

When most gay men come out of the closet, they are making a statement not only about who they are, but also about who they love and how they live. For me, though, it’s really just about what goes on in my head. And that seems somehow less significant and more private — not the sort of thing you share with most people. So, is it possible to come out of the closet and stay in the house? I think so, but I’m still trying to work out how.

Change? Hope? Not for everyone...

This posting is soap-relevant, I promise! It just takes a minute to get there :).

The election of Barack Obama has been heralded in many corners, as a positive sign of the evolution of America. Tolerance of racial diversity. Tolerance for a progressive social agenda. Adoption of a more conciliatory international stance. A liberal agenda that understands the need to spread opportunity to more people. Alas, there is a fly in this happy ointment.

The passage of a number of "defense-of-marriage" constitutional amendments (commonly referred to as anti-gay-marriage votes), including in a state as progressive as California, suggests that there is much more evolution to occur. As I write this:

• In California, Proposition 8 (Ban on Gay Marriage) received 5,424,916 "yes" votes (52%) and 4,932,086 "no" votes. Lest we think this somehow suggests California is universally conservative, the same percentage (52%) voted AGAINST abortion limits.
• In Arizona, Proposition 102 (Ban on Gay Marriage) received 1,078,495 "yes" votes (56%) and 835,013 "no" votes (44%).
• In Florida, Amendment 2 (Ban on Gay Marriage) received 4,755,789 "yes" votes (62%) and 2,913,740 "no" votes (38%).

So, I won't go off on a soapbox here, about how vile this is. I won't mention that is suggests civil rights remains a joke for gay and straight couples who want to commit to and love each other outside of marriage.

What I will mention is these election results were no "poll". This is not a random selection of individuals, some small panel that we're not sure is representative of some larger population. This IS the population. Adding in the results from the 2004 Federal election, gay marriage bans have been supported more often than not. What that tells us is that -- even in a year where voters were willing not to ban abortion and to elect a person of color -- majority opinion is STILL against LGBT men and women.

How does this relate to soaps?

Well, as I write this, ATWT's Nuke STILL has not had sex. The latest obstacle to their union concerns a school election in which Luke stuffed the ballot box. Noah "can't lie" to protect Luke...so it is clear the relationship is about to go through a rough patch. Objective viewers know this is just the latest in a string of unending obstacles for our boys. On the heels of a long dry spell before the men could start kissing, and Procter and Gamble phone poll about whether they SHOULD be on the show....it has been a long period of frustration for viewers who wanted an honest portrayal of gay male sexuality. Not lascivious, but honest.

Suddenly, in the bright light of these polls, P&G's conservatism doesn't seem quite so malevolent. Indeed...it seems almost wisely self-protective. If the MAJORITY of otherwise progressive men and women in America still can't stand the thought of same sex unions...they surely don't want to see it on their TV screens. In the same week, Grey's Anatomy abruptly scuttled a lesbian relationship. All My Children, mercifully, seems to be doing a decent job with Bianca's latest story and relationship.

For some time, a number of us have been angry at P&G for, apparently, timidity in the portrayal of Nuke as a couple. Suddenly, P&G seems awfully courageous to me. America, apparently, doesn't want to acknowledge, condone, or support the existence of committed same-sex unions.

In the end, I think I've stopped being angry. Now, I'm just sad. It's funny how, on the heels of the Obama victory, I end up feeling more like "no change, no hope". In that context, I'll take Nuke in any form I can get it. It's practically an act of sedition, apparently, that they are even allowed to exist.

Applauding the experiments

It has become quite conventional to deride and complain about ... well ...everything on soaps. For me, though, this past year has also been a time of optimism and hope. The powers in charge are NOT giving up. Indeed, they are doing the opposite. They are still experimenting, and seeking new ways of making soaps viable in the modern era. I think this is laudable. Here, I want to briefly give thanks for some of the many innovations from this year...and the past...that I think we could look at as "glass half full".

Soapnet still broadcasts soaps in primetime



Many have decried the fact that cheap reality shows and old reruns (90210!) and bad TV movies proliferate at the modern Soapnet. Gone are classic soaps (Port Charles doesn't count, and is anyone waking up at 5 am to see Ryan's Hope?). Reduced are weekend marathons.

But here's the thing: From 7 pm - midnight, PRIMETIME, we still see same day soaps. These are timeslots that help soaps flourish in many other countries in the world. Soapnet has remained committed to them.

We cannot fault the network for the fact that soaps have proven, in the main, unprofitable. It is to their credit that they are being flexible, adapting the brand to bring eyeballs to the network (and stay solvent). Indeed, if they succeed, their promotions may bring eyeballs back to the "mothership", the daytime brand. I do not understand all this Soapnet anger. It seems people WANT the network to be unprofitable.

Night Shift



I haven't been a regular GH viewer since the mid 1980s. But here I am...now struggling to stay awake every Tuesday at 11 pm. Night Shift is a revelation. Emotional stories, intergenerational canvas, veterans, guest stars with high relevance to a daytime audience (Kathleen Noone!). Is it perfect? No. But it is a much more watchable GH than the "love in wartime" carnage on in the daytime.

I personally think Night Shift is one of the paths to the future. Our soaps won't survive...not daily...not in daytime. If we can hold on to their core, shrink them down, make them less frequent, get them in primetime (when the audience is home)...some remnants may survive. Bravo to Lisa Hesser, Sri Rao and team for showing us that it can be done.

Promotion off network and out of the daypart

Sudden Impact, Y&R's August umbrella story, had boffo ratings. The story was good enough (and killed off characters/stories the viewers hated), but the promotion is what did it! CBS spent serious coin to run primetime ads on E! and their own network. I saw banner ads for the show everywhere. (In the same time frame, ATWT bought "Perez Hilton" ad space for a day). It worked! Hype, well placed, backed up by an exciting story...it worked.

Thus, I'm kind of sad that CBS hasn't kept at it a little while, to rebuild the brand.



It is a marked contrast to the failure of the 'Out of the Ashes' promotion during LML's Y&R era. That failed, I think, because it relied heavily on print (e.g., TV Guide), and was not backed up with a story most viewers wanted to see. Indeed, numbers were LOWER during that story.
Bravo too to ABC, for including soap stars in the Fall network promos, and for planning an expensive promotion aimed at luring back lapsed viewers.

Indeed, even CBS and NBC announced that they would be placing soap stars on primetime shows...to attract lapsed eyeballs. Bravo! Maybe they finally realize that investing back into the soap brand might have some benefits.

Peapack, NJ and the new production model at GL

Let's face it...Canadian TV Guide has all but told us this: GL is in its' final months. But, rather than view that as failure, I think GL got 12 months more than it would have otherwise.
They are going down TRYING. They cheapened the production costs (and some of it looks pretty dang good). They tried to build a new audience. Sadly, it is a failure (GL experienced the largest and most consistent declines during 2008...something the last-ranked show could scarcely afford to do). But I view it akin to someone dying in a motor vehicle crash donating their organs to science. The show was dying, so they used it to explore/experiment with new ways of making soaps.

The experiment was doomed to fail...it should have been done with a NEW soap. You can't dress a 70 year old lady in a teenage tart's clothes and hope that people will find her young and sexy. She is STILL 70! But they tried! They bought a year! They refined a production model! Hopefully, when CBS cancels the show, they will use what they learned to make a new soap, for new audiences, using the best of GL's waning days.

A three-day work week



EP Chris Goutman says the audience doesn't have patience for "this" show more than 3 days a week. I think he is right. I think most people don't have time for a 5-day a week daytime habit.
I think Night Shift is the model. (Wasn't Peyton Place on 2-3 days a week in primetime?). I think CBS should explore Chris' model. Take the current ATWT down to 3 days a week. Use the other two days to do all or some of the following:

- classic reruns
- classic reruns packaged as weekly clip shows ("Let's look at the best of Lucinda's marriage to John Dixon")
- Night-Shift style spinoffs that run, in the daypart, once a week. This latter would be a way to explore building the new brand. The spinoff could be truly continuing, or it could be more 13-week telenovela style. If the latter, it means that new ATWT "spinoffs" could be explored, once a week, every 13 weeks or so. Using the ATWT crew and sets (that is working less due to the reduced ATWT main schedule), it ensures that a fairly low incremental-cost product is produced, and few lose their jobs.

Change is not the enemy. Experimentation proves that you're not willing to let the genre go.

Is ATWT's Nuke a squandered opportunity?

Roger Newcomb linked a really nice post about the Nuke controversy. I liked it because it took a balanced view:

There’s also the realistic and tender side of As The World Turns. It’s found in the several other plots, including the love story of Luke and Noah. I’ve been trying to find my equilibrium since the writers opened up the issue of Luke’s sexuality. Luke has always been a dear character, in my book. He is, after all, the son of Damiangodofallmen Grimaldi - I remember Damian as he was, not the loser of a guy the writers transformed him into. With Luke’s coming out, I was fearfully sure the writers would take the same path with him that most daytime writers have taken with almost every other character who’s come out of the closet. Hank Elliot.

When I look at the difference between Hank Elliot’s storyline and Luke’s I am amazed. There’s such a sensitivity and care about developing Luke and Noah as people, not just ‘gay young adults’. For veteran soap viewers like myself, this is the gradual unfolding of a love story, the kind soap writers were once capable of penning. For other soap viewers, this storyline is at a standstill. Luke and Noah aren’t moving as quickly as other daytime couples. For me, it’s the fast moving couples that are the problem, but I understand the frustration. There have to be questions about why the writers have taken more time to advance this couple:

The author goes on to advance some great hypotheses about why the Nuke story has played out the way it has. Some of it is obvious (the P&G-homophobia/fear-of-AFA argument that has been discussed everywhere). Some of it is unlikely (Nuke too young for sex? Not with Parker kissing like a fool. Writers trying to script old fashioned romance? Yeah, right). But there is also an intriguing "sensitivity" argument: "Is there are greater sensitivity to Loah/Nuke becuase they’re sexual minorities and the writers are afraid of advancing stereotypes? I think it’s possible that there’s some merit to this one. The writers have not only kept the storyline around, but have found ways to deepen the commitment the two have for one another. "

Okay...but here's the thing.

I visit a lot of soap boards. Too many. And with rare exceptions (so rare I can name them), I mostly get four reactions to Nuke.

a. "I never liked Nuke. They were pushed before they were even really on screen. This is a homosexual agenda". Do with that what you want.

b. "The depiction of young male sexuality is SO unrealistic, I cannot invest in this tale". This goes beyond not kissing...because they do now. This is about the fact that they are not sexually satisfying each other. Most viewers acknowledge it doesn't have to happen on screen--this is NOT about voyeurism--but that it doesn't happen...

Noah was about to "ship off" to Iraq...and STILL he and Luke couldn't even -- forgive my language -- give a hand job or something?

c. I'd stick around for Nuke, but the REST of the show is so vile, this is only too much junk.

d. Go Nuke! Finally something that shows some element of the real gay experience with a member of a core family. Be happy that--even if this is a baby step--it is a real step.

In my more rational moments, I'm a "d". But I gotta tell you, that is a rare sentiment...and I see a lot more of a, b, c.

Here is my hope: Nuke opened the door. Noah's behavior has made many of us dislike him and think he needs to grow up.

So, for ATWT, I'd send Noah away, and give Luke a chance at a fresh, mature love--DEPICTED HONESTLY. (Think Brother and Sisters).

And for the NEXT soap (I personally hope it is B&B), use the door that Nuke bust open, and do it right--fearlessly (not Passions-fearlessly, but fearlessly) the next time.

As trailblazers, no matter what the future brings, Nuke, ATWT, and the actors have garnered my eternal gratitude for the big step they have taken...even if ultimately it was not quite big enough--or too big--for many in the audience.

From vanhansis.net and Roger Newcomb

Cindy Lauper appears in Oakdale today to celebrate an important day! Go ATWT!

Martha Byrne's farewell chat was cool

I wish all soap actors were this gracious to their shows and their fans. She answered a few of my questions, but in general (though I wanted dish), I really respected how much she took the high road. She even sent her successor, Noelle Beck, flowers on her first day!

The invaluable Roger Newcomb archived the chat, but I've pasted it below:

CodeBlaze: how have you like playing Lily for so long?
MarthaByrne> I've loved playing Lily for over two decades. I've worked with some incredible people who have become great friends!

cleary233: I also want to know if she plans to return to theater or consider going to an ABC or NBC soap
MarthaByrne> I would love to return to the theater and to daytime!!!

cindy_g: Martha hello! I will miss you and I hope to see you elsewhere. You will be missed, I have watched you since you started on the show!
MarthaByrne> Thank you so much. The hardest part of all of this is saying goodbye to the most amazing fans in the world!

shallotpeel: Hello, Martha! How are you & your guys? Is there anything we can do to keep from losing you at World Turns?
MarthaByrne> Any letters should go to P&G...

Mrcy: Please explain what is happening, this show will not be the same with out you and they can never replace you.
MarthaByrne> Thank you so much for your support. We'll talk more about that as the chat goes on...

ashh576: Martha...who did you like working with the most?
MarthaByrne> Jon Hensley-my second husband and I have so many co-workers who have become like a second family to me.

luvlily: Martha, will you ever come back to ATWT? I miss you already.
MarthaByrne> Thank you for your support. I love ATWT and have since the day I started there!

Jenn: Hey Martha! I just wanted you to know how sweet you really are... each time I talked with you, you were SO gracious! I am really going to miss you. I was wondering if there's a certain charity (St Judes?) that you support.... Id like to donate money in your honor! :)
MarthaByrne> As a matter of fact I am going to Memphis in October as a professional advisory board member and will be more involved with St. Judes on a day to day basis. I will be planning another St. Judes event for Spring 2009!!!

MarkH: Are you really okay with this break from ATWT?
MarthaByrne> no:)

MrSnyder: Happy St. Patty's Day
MarthaByrne> you too!

a_priori: What was you favorite storyline?
MarthaByrne> So many, but I loved playing Rose and Lily together in scenes...

nmsammy: Will you be recording another cd? Love your voice and the cds I have. Will you re-issue the ist?
MarthaByrne> You can buy my cd through my website and I will be adding two brand new songs to my website available for download in a few weeks.

Allan: martha, you were the heart and soul of ATWT and with your departure, I am gone, too. I have watched for 35 plus years, but can't stand the character assasination anymore. My question to you is what did you submit for your pre-nom for lead actress on the show? Also, was there ever any consideration by TPTB that Lily really died when Rose did. I detected a slight Rose accent from you in the weeks following her death or was I just crazy? You will be missed, Martha.
MarthaByrne> I submitted two episodes one being the day Lily decided to enter rehab at the Snyder Farm and the second episode was the day after Holden found Lily in Dusty's suite and asked for a separation. And Rodse is dead and buried in Hoboken:)

MarkH: Are you getting any feelers from other daytime shows? If yes, are you interested?
MarthaByrne> I'm open to anything!

Elizabethann: Why are you leaving the show? You have so many fans, please don't leave.
MarthaByrne> This has been a difficult few weeks. I am so thankful for all of fans and they have all shown such an enormous amount of support.

jesse: hi martha, you are one of the reasons that i returned to watching daytime television again! i'm so sad that you are departing!! what are your plans related to your music?
MarthaByrne> I am going to continue to write and record music. I love it very much so keep checking my website for updates!

MarkH: Did you really quit because of a lack of storyline control?
MarthaByrne> NO!!!

Anne: Hi Martha! What was your last day on the ATWT set like?
MarthaByrne> Very sad. Ellen Dolan brought in bagpipes from the NYPD when my scenes were finished and Vivian Gundaker gave a beautiful speech and I cried a lot.

MarkH: There is a bit of inconsistency in the press. ATWT/P&G are saying you got a "generous offer" which you refused. Your press release says you offered to continue at a cut rate of pay, but when negotiations stalled and a recast was ordered, you quit negotiations. True?
MarthaByrne> I know there has been a lot of I did not quit negotiations. I made a request to work at least the same number of shows that I was in last year and was told NO. That day is when the recast call went out.

Catseye: What was the contract dispute over?
MarthaByrne> I wanted to work at least the same amount of days this year as I did last year. That is it all I asked for.

melissa_sipe: So how many kids do you have?
MarthaByrne> I have three children...who are very happy to have me home!

birdlady: have you taped your last episode
MarthaByrne> Yes.

MrSnyder: I'm listening to your CD The Other Side, any new projects coming up?
MarthaByrne> Many:)

armysis: Are you really leaving
MarthaByrne> I taped my last scenes this past Friday.

ashh576: What was your favorite scene or memory?
MarthaByrne> Anything in the Snyder kitchen or with Elizabeth Hubbard.

shootingstar: when is yor last day on atwt
MarthaByrne> This past Friday.

thefan73: Why have you nixed every non-Lily/Rose story of Jon Hensley's?
MarthaByrne> I have no idea what you are talking about???

daisymae: What will you miss the most.
MarthaByrne> laughing with the crew everyday!

bgasper: Are you going to be doing more music? I just love your first cd The Other Side
MarthaByrne> Yes, I will be doing more music...Thank you for your support!

dalejr88: Do you plan on doing anothet soap?
MarthaByrne> I would love to do another soap!

cleary233: Are you close friends with Van and Jon and did you break the news of leaving personally to Van and Jon before it went public?
MarthaByrne> Jon was the first person I told ALL the details to. And then I was on vacation for almost two weeks and people started finding out from other sources...

ellefromholland.: Would you ever consider coming back to ATWT , Martha? Much love from The Netherlands!
MarthaByrne> Hello to the Netherlands. Thanks for joining us. This last few weeks has been very difficult and I need some time.

janefitz: There's been a lot of rumors about what happen between you and the producers. Can you share now what caused the breakdown in negotiation? Also, best of luck in whatever you decide to do.
MarthaByrne> I did not want storyline approval-No one gets that. I had already taken a substantial pay reduction last year. The only thing I wanted was to work at least the same amount of episodes this year as last year. This was denied and that is when I heard about my recast.

Mrcy: I agree the show will never be the same with you leaving Martha. What are your plans
MarthaByrne> First, going on vacation with my family. Then take things from there...

ashh576: You had great chemistry with Jon and Van and a lot of other people. Love you playing Lily! I'll miss you
MarthaByrne> Thank you.

luvlily: Martha, thank you for sharing one of your wonderful talents with us...playing Lily. I have watched you since the early 80's and your character brought me to ATWT
MarthaByrne> Thanks.

Anne: Lily's last scenes are with whom? I hope she at least gets to say goodbye to Lucinda and her kids.
MarthaByrne> My last scenes were with Jon, Michael, and Maura. Michael Park was my hanky when the scenes were done.

MarkH: Is CBS lobbying with P&G on your behalf? I'm sensing disagreements between P&G and CBS on several issues.
MarthaByrne> P&G owns ATWT. They are the final say regarding actors contracts. CBS is involved on many levels, but they don't deal with the actors contracts.

Mrcy: How do we send letters to P&G?
MarthaByrne> One P&G Plaza Cincinnati, Ohio Address it to P&G Productions

shallotpeel: If there's reason to send letters to P&G, does that imply that there is some hope?
MarthaByrne> There is always hope...

thefan73: Jon Hensley will finally be free of you.
MarthaByrne> I'm sure he would agree...LOL

MrSnyder: How was the send off party Friday?
MarthaByrne> Awesome. There were about one hundred people there. Some from our old studio. Some old friends, lots of love in the room! I cried again...

melissa_sipe: I love you martha and will miss you lots
MarthaByrne> Thank you.

MrSnyder: How can we contact you (e-mail and postal mail) since you're not with ATWT?
MarthaByrne> Through my website www.marthabyrne.net

Mrcy: Do you know when your last day is suppose to be?
MarthaByrne> I taped my final scenes this past Friday and it will air the end of April.

Elizabethann: I know you are a professional but how hard is it to work with some scenes with Jon with his real life wife there..........at least according to what I have read, she is his wife.
MarthaByrne> We are all friends.

cindy_g: I'm so sad over this, your last day will be a kleenex day for sure
MarthaByrne> It was for me!

cleary233: Have you thought about using your expertise by workng behind the scenes in soaps production, i.e. producing,writing, directing or as an acting coach?
MarthaByrne> I would love to work behind the scenes. I am working on many projects as a writer/producer.

melissa_sipe: Martha you were great when you played both roles as rose and lily I thought you did such a wonderful job
MarthaByrne> Thank you. It was so much fun!

ashh576: One of favorite storyline was when Luke came out. How did you feel about playing that?
MarthaByrne> I thought it was well written and very honest.

december: Are the "powers that be" even listening to the fans anymore? Dusty, Craig, and now this?
MarthaByrne> I truly believe that the fans voice is the most important. Without the fans Daytime wouldn't exist. I am a fan myself and I understand your frustrations. You should know that every person behind the scenes appreciates your voice.

luvlily: Do you ever ready any of the message boards, if so can you tell us which ones?
MarthaByrne> Yes, sometimes. I like to read my fans feedback...the good and the bad...LOL

michelle: can we ever buy your cd in a shop in holland
MarthaByrne> hopefully soon...but you can buy it through my website!

Roger_Newcomb: Martha, please tell me you have scenes with Elizabeth Hubbard before we have to say goodbye to Lily. I will miss that relationship so much.
MarthaByrne> I taped my last scenes with Liz last Wednesday and I had to pretend it wasn't the end.

ashh576: I'm sure your hapy to move out of the Snyder farm hotel. WAAAY to many people living there. LOL
MarthaByrne> I agree. LOL

Eileen26: Martha, do writers, TPTB, care about what the fans want?
MarthaByrne> I said earlier the actors & production staff listen to what the fans have to say. What is done after that is out of our control.

jbrr1212: I know it has to be insulting they are recasting so quickly, any thoughts on a new Lily?
MarthaByrne> I only wish whoever it is the best of luck. She will be working with an incredible group of people.

shallotpeel: Silly questions: What's on your iPod? What's on your TiVo?
MarthaByrne> iPod-Mostly 70s & 80s music and a lot of Rob Thomas Tivo-The First 48 and 60 Minutes

nickst: I read that your last ATWT tape date was on Friday...which must have been difficult for you, to say the least. Did you get a chance to say your good byes, especially to the crew behind the scenes?
MarthaByrne> Yes...it was very powerful.

dalejr88: How does your family feel about your leaving the show? I'm sure they will be happy to have home more (at least for a little while anyway)
MarthaByrne> My husband has always been incredibly supportive. All he has ever wanted is for his family to be happy. When my son found out I would be home more often he said that would be awesome!

Mrcy: So it had nothing to do with you wanting more story lines?
MarthaByrne> It had NOTHING to do with story approval...

ashh576: What is your favorite storyline on ATWT right now?
MarthaByrne> Cowboy Jack...just kidding-LOL

ellefromholland.: Why didn't they agree on you working at least the same amount of shows?!
MarthaByrne> Ask them.

cindy_g: I am glad to hear that, some were calling you a Diva but I defended you and said to wait and hear what MB has to say about things!
MarthaByrne> Thank you. I'm sitting in my sweat pants with pizza sauce on my shirt after giving my kids dinner...I'm no diva!

Lolo: According to your press release, when the recast call went out, you withdrew from negotiations. But that seems a normal course the show would take under these circumstances. Why not stick out negotiations and see where they went?
MarthaByrne> I can't tell you all the details, but after the call went out things went from bad to worse...

MrSnyder: Industry wide (not just ATWT specific) what are your thoughts on the genre of soaps and their future?
MarthaByrne> I think soaps DESERVE a future. How to go about that has been debated often. My feeling is with good story and great actors you will find success.

ellefromholland.: Are you going to take a break for a while from working?
MarthaByrne> No. About 6 weeks...

zoknut: How old were you when you first appeared as Lily on ATWT
MarthaByrne> 15.

ellefromholland.: Do you know why they didn't agree on having you working at least the same number of episodes????
MarthaByrne> No.

luvlily: Do any of the actor or actresses have any input into their storylines on ATWT? I have hated to see so many characters ruined and history erased the past few years on the show.
MarthaByrne> No actor has storyline approval...our job as the actor is to make everything work.

shallotpeel: When you made your statement to Jen Lenhart of Soap Opera Digest mentioning that you had taken a paycut previously by intent & that you were negotiating and into it for 3 weeks and then, etc., etc. I just had a feeling that it was something utterly ridiculous for this to happen over. Were you completely bowled over when this happened? I mean, you've gone into negotiations without an agent or anything at times in the past, etc. ... did you feel like the rug was pulled out from under you?!!
MarthaByrne> I have negotiated over thirty contracts in my career and have never had a problem.

martha: You are my actress. Where ever you go, I will watch your show!
MarthaByrne> Thank you.

Sleepydreams143: Can I ask how they wrote Lily off? I am going to miss you soooo much!! Best of luck in all you do!
MarthaByrne> Lily gets in a limo and takes off...

Lolo: Was the recast call the only reason you stopped negotiating?
MarthaByrne> That was the beginning...

MarkH: Should fans continue writing you c/o the show? That will give them some fanmail to count :-)
MarthaByrne> You can email me through my website.

Tim_Lawrence: Hi Martha. how can I get your first CD? Is it still available?
MarthaByrne> My first CD sold out. You can download my current one on CD Baby.com or buy it through my website marthabyrne.net

missingDamian: Martha, you'll always be the one and only Lily IMO. Were you're last scenes dramatic or standard?
MarthaByrne> They were a lot of fun because I was working with Michael Park, Maura, and Jon

lwsfan: Everyone at soapcentral.com loves you!!
MarthaByrne> I've had a lot of great support from soapcentral THANK YOU!

blackcat: Do you really think the fans can make a difference? What is the best way to be heard? We want to do something fast and effective......Lily rocks!
MarthaByrne> Write to P& G Productions...

cleary233: Any thoughts on if the portrayal of women on soaps has gotten better or worse?
MarthaByrne> I have always felt that Daytime is a female medium. It upsets me when women are portrayed in a negative fashion. We have a great opportunity on Daytime to tell stories about strong women and the men who love them...those are the kind of stories we should be telling.

lizflyn: Would you work for CBS again--or go to another network?
MarthaByrne> I've worked for CBS since I was eleven years old and would work for them anytime!

MarkH: You were doing the negotiations directly, right? You don't go through an agent?
MarthaByrne> My manager handles it...

shallotpeel: How did you find out that the (re) casting call had gone out?
MarthaByrne> My manger gets breakdowns...

Mrcy: If they decided to do a recast before all of the negotiations went out, I am sure it has been very difficult for you. You have made this show with actors like Jon, Elizabeth, Michael. and etc....
MarthaByrne> Thank you.

Mrcy: They did not give you an explanation?
MarthaByrne> No.

lizflyn: Martha will you have your music on itunes so we can download to our ipods?
MarthaByrne> You can download it on CDBaby.com

luvlily: Will you still keep in touch with your castmates?
MarthaByrne> Absolutely!

Jenn: Hi Martha! I know this is a special chat because you left the show... but is there any way we could convince you to do another chat in the future? i loved all the past ones:)
MarthaByrne> I will be doing them more often!

shallotpeel: Who was negotiating directly for ATWT?
MarthaByrne> Their legal department who informed me that they could not write my request for the same number of shows into my contract.

downwhtone: Are there any prime time shows you would like to appear on?
MarthaByrne> Many. I am going to take a couple more questions...

martha: You will be miss! Best of Luck!!
MarthaByrne> Thank you.

shallotpeel: Will you miss the trip to Brooklyn? (You'll always have Brooklyn.)::laugh
MarthaByrne> The three hours I spent in my car everyday...LOL...um NO, but I'll miss the people!

luvlily: We love you Martha and have a wonderful vacation, you deserve it! Best of luck to you and your family in everything you do. You have, do, and will always ROCK!
MarthaByrne> Thank you so much. Please check back after next Friday, I'm going to have some exciting new updates on my website including some great pictures from my going away party!

martha: We all love u!!!
MarthaByrne> Thank you so much, your support has been incredible over the years.

armysis: wow is that three hours one way or an hour and a half one way
MarthaByrne> An hour and a half each way...

forlove: Do you ever watch episodes of ATWT on YouTube? I'm a fairly new viewer and caught up on some of Lily's story that way.
MarthaByrne> I love YouTube. Actually, someone forwarded me a video a fan had to put together supporting me and it was touching.

lisamn: i missed the beginning, did you say what your plans are, atwt will never be the same again
MarthaByrne> As of right now I am going on vacation...keep checking my website and I will announce my future plans. We will also publish a transcript of this chat on my website as well by tomorrow!